Hollistic health, centred on inner wellness
A Dara Knot Wellness blog
As the summer continues to be hot (and I’ve continued to hate it), we went travelling to a convention on a train with zero air conditioning. At times during that ride, quite ironically, I questioned our sanity. I questioned whether I could continue to do this over the summer. I started looking for an escape on my phone, anywhere other than that miserable train, and fell right into doomscrolling (forget the book I wanted to read, I couldn’t concentrate!).
I saw all the really cool things that people were curating online. And for a second, a familiar, heavy feeling crept in. A little voice that whispered, “My summer doesn’t look like that. I should be doing more.” And I dislike that little voice. I think we all do. It’s rooted in insecurity and ‘want’ rather than balance and need, and makes us feel bad.
Even when we know that what we’re seeing online is curated, it’s hard to look away. Doomscrolling has become a unique issue of our time; it’s a dopamine-seeking cycle that gets triggered in the brain, another unintended side effect of tech.
The real trap is that the dopamine hit from scrolling isn’t a lasting reward. It’s fleeting. By the time many of us realise we’re doing it, we’re already neck-deep in miserable comparison, wondering why our lives don’t look like theirs. These ‘my life should look like that’ moments are especially hard for those of us who are already feeling vulnerable.
The problem with ‘should’ is that it’s packed with judgement. It’s a word that compares our current reality to an imaginary standard – a standard often set by a stranger’s perfectly curated Instagram grid.
When we live in ‘should’, we’re not listening to ourselves. We’re not checking in with our energy levels, our budgets, or our own genuine desires. We’re chasing a version of perfection that probably doesn’t even exist, and it’s exhausting. True mental wellness comes from giving ourselves permission to have the summer we need, not the one we think we should be having.
This is a practice, not a perfect science. It’s about being a little more mindful and a lot kinder to yourself. Here are a few ideas to get started.
This summer doesn’t have to be a performance. It doesn’t need to be documented to be valid. Let it be quiet, or loud, or messy, or uneventful. Let it be whatever you need it to be. Your summer is yours and yours alone. (And thank goodness for that!)
D Kai Wilson-Viola is an author, activist and lifelong learner. She believes in open, honest communication and holistic wellness that looks not only at how fit you are, but how fit your mind and emotions are in with it. A survivor with CPTSD and anxiety, Kai offers help and her shoulder to anyone that needs it.
When not managing blogs or coding, Kai can be found training at LudoSport, writing books of her own, editing for others, formatting and playing computer games. She has two cats and has been in a long term relationship for over 20 years.
All advice and information offered on this site is offered as is, and you should discuss any treatments you undertake with your GP or other healthcare provider. Unless otherwise identified, our experiences are shared in good faith, but are anecdotal and do not constitue medical advice, but instead, a starting point for your own healing journey.
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